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New Era New opritunity chap 17

Deviation Actions

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Chap 17

Katara scowled. “After so many years all you ever spit is poison.”

“So many years!?” Azula questioned with Korra still slumped on her shoulder.
“Maybe for you, I lost that time remember!”

Azula could see her enemies’ eye’s rolling from the light of the full moon that was out. It was odd looking at her, time had apparently not been kind if the stooped back and wrinkles had anything to say.
“Stop it, you know you did not come close to paying for your crimes!”

“My crimes!?” Azula said angered seeming to forget Korra was there and not noticing her pained mumbling.

“I never did any more then…” She stopped herself and took a breath. “you really can hold a grudge cant you? I am not wasting my time with you, no more then I have already wasted because of you.”

“I didn’t mean for to be woken up.” Katara admitted. “I thought you would be frozen forever.”

Azula smirked. “You know now one is watching now. You can just say you wanted me dead.” She mocked.  “Speaking of with where is your normal mob, those White Lotus guards seem to be useful.”

“They are where they need to be to stay safe.” Katara shot back

Azula smirked again. “Oh you mean you could not explain to them what was going without them thinking you finally succumbed to your age, or you don’t want to see what you’re going to do?” Azula accused.

Katara got into a ready stance her baggy blue water tribe similar to one she had before. “I am not a killer, unlike you!”

Azula actually laughed. “Is that what you have told yourself!? You still are quite pathetic. You want me dead and yet you refuse to say that you killed me well that’s quite the challenge isn’t it?”

“I am willing to try.” Katara said sternly bring her hands up, Azula could see that they where lightly shaking.
“Hmp” Azula noted as she took in her surroundings. They where on a grassy slop between the beach about 50 yards aback and the edge of the temple about 50 yards behind Katara. She could see no pools of water for the peasant to draw from but she knew it would not matter with a full moon out. She would have to think carefully.

‘I need to move quickly so she does not pin me down, and I will-‘

“Azula…” Korra pleaded finally getting through. Azula broke from her battle plans and looked to see the fearful gaze of Korra looking back at her.
“Can we just go inside…” Korra pleaded. Azula stared at her shocked, not seeming to understand what she was saying.
“You…want me to just…walk away?” Azula questioned astonished.

Korra nodded. “Just for the night please, we can sort it out tomorrow.”

Azula looked at her for another moment dumb struck but then the memory of the terrified pained scream that Korra let out not even an hour ago came back and she was filled with concern before closing her eye’s and nodding.

Korra let out a sigh of relief as Azula gave one more defiant stare to her old foe, before turning to walk along the side of the hill and around Katara.

“Where are you taking her?!” Katara demanded.

“As much As I would like to finish where we left off…” Azula shouted with out looking back. “ you know when you where not old, but I have to get Korra to where she can lie down, she has had a rough night.”

“What did you do to her!” Katara accused.

“I-“ Azula paused a terribly brilliant idea coimg to mind. She glanced briefly over  to Korra and buried the bad feeling that she had about her idea. She may not be able to physically attack the peasant tonight, but she could still hurt her
“I didn’t do anything to my Girlfriend.” Azula said boldly. “Nor would I Because I love her.”

She turned away just as Katara, and Korra gave a loud gasp.. “Hey, it is true.” Azula said quietly. She saw Korra frown out of the corner of her eye but ignored it. ‘She will not control everything I do just by looking at me sadly.’

She pulled out of her thoughts as she tried and failed to lift up her right foot. The action nearly sent her falling over but she managed to catch herself before she fell. Looking down she saw her boot and leg up to her knee was frozen solid.

“Is there no limit to what you will say to get what you want!” Korra said disgusted.

Azula patience thinned and Korra could tell from the way she pleaded again to just walk away. Finally Azula relented and she made a ball of fire with her free had and slammed down other leg.
“usually not.” Azula smugly. The ice broke easily, as always, and after a deep breath she kept walking.  “But I’m not lying this time.”

“Azula always lies.” Katara jabbed.
Korra gasped. “hmp, what you thought I was kidding when I told you about that.” Azula countered.
“No its just I thought… I don’t know, can we pleases just get to our room.” Korra begged. Azula nodded and kept walking
‘Fine Korra  we will talk about it tomorrow, and I will wait until tomorrow. A nice bright sun will be out and I can finish the peasant off even easier.’

Her plan was broken when a whip of water grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her to the ground dragging her back. She worriedly looked up and saw Korra being caught by a cushion of water. Relieved she dealt with the whip with a kick and a twist and was on her feet.

Azula quickly glanced around looking for a source but found nothing. A quick glance to her foe revealed that she did not even have her water skin. Azula knew this was familiar but could not think of when she had been in this situation before.
She watched the peasant wave her arms and suddenly there was a block of ice flying from seeming nowhere right in front of her. It hit her in the chest and sent her back to the ground, the wind knocked out of her.

‘she is desperate.’ Azula thought to her self. Now remembering that when the peasant was desperate she could take water from nearly anything. Jumping back to her feet she looked around at the grass hill slope she was standing on and braced for impact.

Katara kept up her attacks from all direction with a surprising amount of strength and a few new tricks that Azula had not seen before. She was put on the defensive and had to constantly stop the attacks there coming from all angles. On onlooker would sense desperation in her as they watched blue fire vaporize water, just to have reform again into a sold block of ice.

An onlooker would be wrong. Even as she was knocked off her feet for the second time, Azula knew she was wining. She knew she was winning even before this battle started.
Katara was old, Azula was not, and Azula could tell. The attacks, though some new, where slower then she remembered and getting slower. Azula knew all she had to do was wait just a little longer.

Barely three minutes into the fight, Katara’s attacks stopped for the briefest moment and Azula saw her opening and sent a wave of fire waist height in arch towards the peasant. Katara blocked what would have hit her but it was to late as Azula continued her attack with balls of fire. Katara was forced to step backwards as the ground around her became brown with the dead plants she was forced to find more.

Finally Azula grinned wickedly as she saw Katara stumble and fall and letting out a brief cry of pain. She paused briefly waiting to see if Katara would get back up but after a feeble attempt it seemed unlikely.

It seemed to be too easy a victory as Azula slowly approached her hurt foe. She was cautions and was waiting for any trick that could be unleashed. But there was nothing. Until she was in arms reach and Katara attempted one last attack and made a spike of ice come out of grass. Azula twisted around in and with one hand melted trough it as she lashed out with her leg and hit Katara in the shoulder. Katara cringed and held her shoulder.

Azula stood right over the peasants and took amount to look around. “it sure was a good idea of you to come alone against me.” She mocked.

“I have to keep them safe.” Katara answered bitterly..”

Azula looked down and shot her a malice grin. “How did that work you?”
Katara scowled, not giving an answer.

“I have been waiting a long time for this.” Azula said raising her arm and creating a ball of blue fire. “Though technically not as long as you.”

Azula felt the elation that came only to prey that had finally decided to fight its hunter, and had won. Memories of months of starvation, running,  hiding, and fighting for her life fueled her fire. Before she had always held back the finale blow out of a vain hope that it would all end if she played nice. But that was decades ago and forgotten as she stood over her foe.

The weight of a full body falling on her back, nearly made her fall on said foe and she felt a strong hand grab the wrist that was raised high in the air. The familiarity of the body pressed against her stopped her natural reaction to throw it off.

“Azula…” Korra pleaded her warm breath washing of Azulas ear getting her full attention. “This will not keep you out of a cell.”

Azula struggled against the hand hiding her wrist, as she watched the shocked expression of her foes face.
“How dare you!” Azula shouted angrily. Korra did not let go as Azula struggled though. “You have no Idea what this peasant put me through!”
“Yes I do, you told me remember!” Korra shot back. “I cant help you if you do this.” She even leaned lower and kissed Azula neck “Please…for me.”

Azula closed her eyes and finally relented, she refused to ackonlge the possibility that Korr was right even as she let Korra pull her arm to her side. Though she did hate every second of it. She turned so when she opened her eye’s she was looking away from the peasant. Unwilling to look again at how close she had gotten.

 She felt Korra kiss the side of her neck again and heard a ‘thank you’, she ignored both and simply readjusted Korra to carry her again. She left without saying anything or looking back, to the dumbstruck Katara.

They went quietly to their room encountering no one, and hearing nothing until they reached the bed an Azula let Korra down with a mix of a sigh and groan. Korra squired on the bed for a moment trying to get comfortable as Azula sat on the side lost in her thoughts.

‘I had her…I HAD HER!’ She thought bitterly. ‘Korra should have just stayed out of the way she had no idea what he was doing!’ As she thought more she became more angry until finally an idea took hold of her.

‘Its just as I feared, she is a hindrance…a weakness.’ She thought, putting aside the regret she was feeling about it. ‘If she is going to hold me back then she has to go.’ She told herself sternly.

Deciding on what had to be done she took a deep breath, but still could bring herself to look at Korra as she spoke. “Korra we need to talk about-“

For the second time that night she was interrupted by a body falling down on her, this time though Korra simply wrapped her arms around her neck and shoulders and held her tight.

“I’m sorry.” Korra said surprising her. “I know it was cruel to bring up your cell, but I knew it would get through to you.” She said Kissing her neck again.

Azula’s certainly left her as Korra pressed against her back. “I suppose it did work.” She said dropping her head in defeat to rest on Korra’s arm. “But why did you stop me?” she asked bitterly. “You even said you knew what she did.”

She felt Korra frown against her neck. “Because I grew up with Katara, and even though it hurt me to hear so…so hateful. I knew what you where going to do would mean I would lose you both.”

She picked her head of Azula’s neck and used one hand to turn Azula’s head directly towards her, They close enough so Azula could feel Korra’s breath on her and see the resolve in her eye’s. “But I will not regret or take back what I did, no matter what you or Katara tell me, got it.” Korra said definitely.

Azula always loved Korra’s defiant nature and even this situation was no exception. “Ok.” She muttered, before closing the distance and kissing her. Korra returned it, and they both stayed like that for a few moments before Korra broke off with a wince and went back to resting on Azula back, her arms around Azula neck.

“Are you ok?” Azula asked remembering just how bad the night had been for Korra.

Korra sighed. “Everything still hurts.” she gowned. “But that’s not what I want to talk about.”
“What is?” Azula asked turning her head so that she could see Korra’s face concerned.
“Its what you said…that you loved me.” Korra said bring her arms more around Azula neck.
“I thought you knew that already.” Azula questioned.

“Well yeah. but you’ve never said it, you just kinda Azulaed your way around it.” She said her arms getting tighter.

“Azulaed?” Azula questioned.

Korra laughed lightly. “Yeah you know more actions, les word, and denying it as you kiss me.”
“Yeah well…I find actions to be better in some situations.” Azula defended. “Where you happy to hear it then?”

“I was…” Korra said in a way that made a red flag go up. It was just how Azula had talked when she wanted to sound unthreatening but was actually planning something. It was an odd feeling to be on the receiving end of it.
“But…”
Azula suddenly found that Korra’s arms around her neck where getting to tight and where starting to make it hard to breath.
“I know you just said it just to stab at Katara.”

Azula immediately brought her hands up to try and pull Korra’s arms away but found she could not break Korra strong hold. She thought briefly about burning her way free but held back, part of her new that she probably deserved this.
“You have never scared me before.” Korra said angrily. “Even after I learned who you really where I was never afraid of you until tonight.”
“Korra…” Azula gasped.
“You scared me because of the way you talked to her, and the words you used. But let me make this clear I get that you hate her, but you will NOT use what we have together in attacks against her. Got it!”
Azula would have nodded but Korra’s held hr back.      
“We… can talk…about…this.” Azula gasped as Korra squeezed tighter.

“"There is no talking about that." Korra said sternly. "For everything else we will talk about, tomorrow." She let go and laided down as Azula gasped for breath.
"Right...tomorrow." Azula said laying down.
So this was going to be longer and have other stuff but, I lost my note pad and about 2000 words 3 days ago and I knew every one was waiting for at least this part so here you are. I hope it was good enough.
im thinking 2-3 more chapters for this but don't worry I got another idea already going. :)
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Comments11
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Loopy777's avatar
Having read the whole story thus far, I have what I hope is a balanced critique. The most obvious thing that stands out as needing some improvement is the editing/spelling/grammar. I don't know if you proofread your stuff, but it looks like you pretty much just rely on a simple spellchecker, which helps some but doesn't catch when you misspell a word in a way that makes for a correct version of a completely different word. A word processor with a grammar check should be able to catch most of that, and there are free ones you can download, so I highly recommend it. I also have a policy in which, after I finish writing something, I walk away from it for 24 hours before reading it again and fixing up my typing mistakes. That distance gives me a better chance of catching my own mistakes.

(Just an FYI in terms for formatting: the most popular formatting is always have a blank line between paragraphs. It makes thing easier to read for most people. I can understand the need to group things, and it keeps the chapter's physical length down, but most people find it harder to read. If you need to break between scenes, you can use the < hr > tag- just without the space- and that will be more clear than an extra line. I don't recommend going back and redoing your older chapters, as it's really not needed, but it's a strategy to keep in mind for future chapters.)

Your narration seemed to improve as the story progressed, which I take to mean you got more comfortable as you went along with writing and doing more in-depth descriptions/ruminations. I encourage you to continue this trend, as you did a good job of getting into Azula's head once you really took the time to do so. It might make chapters longer, but they also make for much more rewarding reading.

You seem to have a good grasp of Azula's character, but I'm a bit troubled that she's being presented as an essentially good person, and generally better at everything than everyone else. I really do think that- even though she thought she was being an ideal Fire National as taught by her father- she was needlessly cruel beyond what she had been taught. Also, it seems odd that she doesn't at least regret terrorizing her friends, since her whole breakdown in the cartoon's finale came from realizing that it was an awful way of doing things. That said, I think her overall presentation is good, and you firmly justify the changes in her character with the traumatic experiences with her cage and life on the run. A little balance is all that's needed, keeping in mind she used to be a villain.

Speaking of, I'm intrigued by Katara's treatment of Azula. In the cartoon's finale, Katara went out of her way to take Azula alive and relatively unharmed, otherwise she just could have let Azula drown or stay frozen in a block of ice until she suffocated. Likewise, even in this story, it would have been easy for Katara to just stick an ice-spear through Azula's heart back in the initial battle where Azula got frozen. I'm interested in learning how Katara came to hate Azula so much, and where this conflicted desire to kill Azula came from. I wondered, at one point, if Aang might have had sympathy for Azula, or even a crush of some kind, and Katara responded out of bitter jealousy.

I admit, I'm not really a fan of Legend of Korra, but the characters all seem fine to me. Tenzin, especially; you've captured his demeanor and way of talking, and presented him as a reasonable authority figure, which I always like to see in him.

Likewise, I'm not a big fan of romance. I write it a lot because that's what Avatar fans like to see, but it's also secondary to my larger plots. Going by my own tastes, though, you've done a good job balancing the romance between Korra and Azula with all the other stuff going on, and you're making a good case that they really care for each other, complete with interesting internal conflict on Azula's part. So, I'm satisfied.

You have good storytelling instincts. Even in the chapters you called filler, I thought that there was always something interesting or amusing going on. Lots of people make the mistake of indulging in too much romantic fluff, but that's a trap you've handily avoided. You've also done a good job planning and setting up future plot points with foundational information. I'm a little disappointed that you're sticking to Legend of Korra's plot beats so closely, as I prefer AU's like this to really take advantage of the possible differences that a new addition offers, but even though you're covering the same episodes and sequence as the original cartoon, I applaud you for changing things up in every case. I also have to offer props for not making Azula a new Easy Button for the good guys; even Azula's plan at the Probending Championship failed to stop Amon. So, while this doesn't match my preferences for AU, you're obviously putting some real effort into it and getting some good results for it. Reading the story, I was never bored, which itself is a major win and a very good start for your first fanfic. So many writers bog themselves down by adding stuff that doesn't need to be in your story, but you've managed to keep things relevant and keep things moving.

For a first effort, I think you did a good job. Clean up the editing, and I think you'll make an even better impression. I hope that all helps!